Sugaring can be exciting but presents a range of safety concerns. From anonymity to stranger danger, typical dating concerns to safe sex. Jumping into the sugar bowl requires maturity, street smarts, and a healthy dose of precaution and often a reality check to stay away from sticky situations. Here are some safety tips to think about before deciding to sugar date.
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The POTs and Sugar Daddies you’ll meet in your sugaring journey can enrich your life but being a sugar baby can also be dangerous. Women always need to be cautious when meeting people on and offline. In the sugar bowl, the amount of precaution required is magnified as not only your physical safety and emotional wellbeing are at stake but also money is involved. Scammers, creeps, blackmailers, even violent criminals are out there so it’s better to be safe than sorry. Here are 12 tips to stay safe when sugar dating.
1. Use a fake identity for your safety
When creating your profile and in communication with a POT use a fake name. You may choose to continue to use this fake identity into the sugar relationship until and if you get to a point you feel comfortable sharing.
Use photos on your profile that you never share to social media. Erase all embedded information or location tracking to the photo before posting.
Use a separate e-mail for sugaring and signing up to dating sites.
Use a fake number like google voice or a texting app.
If you decide to try social media apps to attract POTs, create a new profile separate from your personal profile. Do NOT connect your personal profiles, emails, or phone numbers to your sugar profile in any way.
Open a Paypal account using your sugar email address if that is a method you will use to collect any gifts. If you use your personal account they will see your real name. Don’t accept Money Gram, personal checks, and be wary with Paypal as these transactions can be reversed. Cash, cash, cash.
If you don’t live in a large city that is pretty anonymous, tell them a suburb close by when they ask where you live. If you do live in the city consider referencing a different neighborhood. That way when they are planning dates or travel reimbursements they can consider your general distance without knowing exactly where you go home to each night.
When they ask about your job or school life, keep in general. “I’m finishing up grad studies in biology,” “I completed my undergrad in Boston,” or ” I’m a social worker.” If they ask where, have an alternative answer if your work site is very specific. For example, you could easily get away with saying you work at “Olive Garden as a waitress” since they are all over but avoid referencing niche restaurants.
Avoid details about your family members or children especially in the beginning. Of course, as the dating turns into a relationship many SDs enjoy learning about how well the kids are doing in school (maybe he chipped in and helped with tuition). Use your discretion and build trust over time.
This goes without saying but in the USA NEVER give out your bank account information to anyone! This is less applicable in some banking systems outside the US. If they even hint at asking for your bank log in….please… move on, block, and report if you can!
2. Screen like your life depends on it – Safety first
ALWAYS background check!
Use a reverse photo search or a reverse email search.
Google his username, his name if he gives it to you, and his phone number.
There is a new site that is still launching called Sugaring Reviews. Once they go live we’ll give them a try.
If you can get him to spill where he works, look it up. Some guys love to try to impress girls by dishing about their companies and positions. That’s great! Use it to see if he really is the Director he claims to be, listed on the company website. Check out news stories on the company and see if his name pops up.
Get as much info as you can through messaging and let google be your friend. It’s a little stalkerish, but you are not using this information for evil only for protection.
Remember that social networking, online dating, and sugar sites are often full of scammers. We’ve never met a legit SD on Instagram even though every day those scammers pop up in our comments and DMs.
Take note of the way they text you. Are they courteous and respectful? Or do they ask for nudes and jump to sexting? Genuine SDs can contain themselves long enough to make you comfortable in the relationship before intimacy is discussed in any graphic form. Only engage with a POT who can treat you like a person with feelings.
If they give you any weird vibes, always trust your gut. Move on, block, and report if you need to. Don’t let the possibility of money cloud your senses. Safety is key!
Before you think of setting up a M&G schedule a video chat, FaceTime, or Skype chat. At the very least talk to your POT on the phone. Make sure he is a real person. Listen to his voice, mannerisms, and vibe. It’s easier to pick up on creepiness, lies, or scams when you can see and hear them. Safety tips for the Sugar Baby @thedessertsite Share on X
3. Consider carrying a weapon
Carry pepper spray in your purse or another object that could be used as a weapon if the need arose. Be a little paranoid especially early on. It’s better to be prepared and protect your safety
Invest in self-defense classes. Some community organizations and clubs offer them for free or at a reduced cost.
4. Bring a friend along- discreetly
If it is possible have a friend sit a few tables away or swing by the location to casually check in on the situation. They don’t ever need to make contact just keep an eye out. Or, if you are very nervous, see if you can convince your POT or SD to have a two-for-one and bring you sugar buddy along. Some SDs will be put off by this request so use with caution.
It will be harder to focus on negotiations with someone tagging along so this may be best if only employed for a quick M&G.
5. Always let someone know where you are going
You can always just say “I’m going on a date at such and such place. I’ll probably be home around 9.” You don’t have to mention it is a sugar date if you don’t feel comfortable but someone should know where you are.
Tell a friend that if you haven’t texted her by a scheduled time, she should call you. Provide her the number of the location for your date so that if you don’t answer she can call the venue. Establish a code so you can tell her to help get you out of a situation. Many bars and restaurants have their own code words, like ordering a certain made-up drink that will alert the staff to assist you out of a situation. Call ahead or excuse yourself early in the date to check out the women’s bathroom where those codes can be found.
6. Let your POT/ SD know that others know where you are
Casually mention to the POT or SD that you told so and so you are on a date in said place. You can keep it smooth so it’s not a threat. Example: “My roommate loves this place. When I told her I was coming here tonight she recommended I try the fish.”
7. Avoid private places for your safety
Always meet him in a public place! Private places which favor the POT or SD such as their home or boat require extream caution. The meet & greet and first date should be in the day time at a busy location. Besides sugar dating consists of more than just sex, get out and enjoy the scenery!
For intimate dates a nice hotel is preferable. There are phones, other people, and you are in close proximity to others if you needed help. Wait until you feel completely safe and a few intimate dates have passed before considering seeing his place. Ask for his address ahead of time then google it and make sure it is legit. Text his address to a friend so someone always continues to know where you are.
8. Never get in their car
He may have a drop dead gorgeous car but,
Don’t get into his car!
The POT or SD can give you uber or gas money if you need it or decide that will be part of your arrangement but always make sure you have some money and a way to get home if needed. You don’t want to rely on him or his money if you need to get away fast.
We never remember anyone’s phone number as they are saved in our cell nowadays but try to memorize at least one key contact if you were ever to be separated from your phone.
After a number of dates, if you feel he is not likely a threat get his license plate number and text it to your safety contact. Or praise his amazing car and ask for a pic (with the plates visible of course).
If you do get into his car, make sure he drives safely. Guys with nice cars love to show off. Watch out for texting while driving and maintaining a safe speed. Money won’t matter if you become a highway statistic.
Ask the guy to drive at the speed limit or to put away his phone. Since it has been a few dates use your seductive powers, look him in the eyes, and let him know how you want to get to your destination safely so the real fun can start. Guys melt in your hands for that stuff.
9. Don’t get too comfortable
Some guys can lay down a good game and get you to trust them early. Enter with caution! Remember your goals, why you two are together and don’t let your guard down.
Either avoid alcohol or keep it to a minimum, especially early in a relationship. Not only can being drunk cast a poor light on a refined SB but you want to keep all your senses intact.
A M&G is a time to feel out the POT, answer any questions, and discuss the arrangement. Wait until future dates to get intimate.
10. Your life is more important than money
Repeat after me, my life is more important than money. Your life is more important than money! Stay Safe SBs @thedessertsite Share on X
11. Never tell someone you will be alone
For your safety, tell POTs you have roommates and how their Doberman pinscher has a stranger danger problem.
Don’t give them too many details of your daily schedule. Would you really want a POT who didn’t work out because you got a creepy vibe to know you leave the gym every Tuesday at 8 pm??
Don’t give out your home address or bring your SD to your place until you know he is trustworthy. At that, just don’t bring him home. We’ve seen 10-year marriages where it was better their ex didn’t know where they lived after the divorce. Your home is your palace, dig a mote and keep the drawbridge closed!
Don’t fall for the SD who wants to send you gifts to your house. If you truly have a lot of SDs who actually do this you can look into alternative addresses like PO Boxes. Otherwise, just receive gifts in person. Even Amazon wishlists can sometimes reveal your address. Google the latest information or contact Amazon to get up to date on whether someone could accidentally access your address.
Don’t forget photos can accidentally give away your address! Turn off the “Geo-tag” option on your camera settings. Otherwise, once you post the photo online, people can easily access your precise location!
12. Be assertive!
Being comfortable saying “no” is imperative in the bowl.
If he doesn’t respect your words be ready to walk away from him and the arrangement. Men may push boundaries to see how far they can get before you stop them. Let them know firmly when you are uncomfortable. A gentleman will try to make you feel comfortable before pushing farther. Don’t settle for behavior that crosses your personal comfort zone.
STAY SAFE!!
What sugar dating safety tips would you share?
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